Cemburu Buta Vs Cemburu Romantis

Ringkasan dari rubrik psikologinya kompas minggu ini by : Sawitri
Supardi Sadarjoen

Cemburu buta
Orang yang dilanda cemburu buta adalah orang yang perasaan cemburunya
berlebihan bahkan ekstrem. Rasa takut kehilangan sedemikian besarnya
sehingga ketakutan ini justru memicu meluapnya dorongan agresi mereka.
Luapan dorongan agresi itu diungkapkan secara verbal m aupun nor
verbal. Secara verbal misalnya dalam bentuk makian, cercaan dan
lecehan. Secara Non Verbal diungkapkan dalam bentuk pukulan dan
tamparan yang menyebabkan memar.
Cara pengungkapan rasa cemburu tersebut terkesan meragukan dasar cinta
kasih yang seyogyanya melandasi sikap cemburunya.
Pencemburu buta pada dasarnya memiliki karakteristik kepribadian
spesifik yang membuka peluang berkembangnya tingkat kecemburuan.
Karakteristik itu antara lain kurang percaya diri, tidak yakin akan
cinta kasih dan kesetiaan pasangan serta memiliki kecenderungan
posesif sehingga apapun yang dirasakan menjadi miliknya akan
dipertahankan dengan segala cara.

Cemburu Romantis
Dalam cemburu romantis unsure kasih lebih dominan dari pada unsure
agresif yang terkait dengan sikap posesif. Kalaupun terdapat sedikit
kecurigaan terhadap pasangan, kadar ungkapan agresi sangat minim,
sekedar mengingatkan pasangan akan perkawinan. Karakter ungkapannyapun
mengandung unsure kasih yang tulus dari pasangan yang memiliki
kemantapan dan stabilitas emosi optimal. Biasanya kecemburuan
romanntis justru meningkatkan kadar kemesraan pasangan dengan dasar
kemantapan kepribadian kedua pasangan, keyakinan akan kasih
antarkeduanya pasanganpun mantap pula.

Dari tulisan diatas, mana yang pernah teman2 rasakan dan lakukan ?

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25 responses to “Cemburu Buta Vs Cemburu Romantis

  1. cemburu buta dong, buseno… hehehehehehehe

  2. eh cemburu romantis deh..eh cemburu romantis tapi gak buta deh buseno..

  3. Tiap pagi saya sering cemburu…. :(cemburu buru masuk kantor :))

  4. ha..ha..ha..ini tulisan tambahan buat dikau Cho :))..Well,Romantic JealousyHow to recognize where jealousy comes from and how to copewith it.By: A.M. Pines, C.F. BowesThe Shadow of Love”I found myself sitting curled up in the bushes, following every movementseen through the curtains in her lit-up window. I knew her boyfriend wasthere, and the knowledge caused me excruciating pain. It was a cold winternight, and once in a while it would drizzle. I said to myself: “I know I ama sane, well-adjusted, responsible adult. What in the world is happening tome? Have I totally lost my mind?” And yet, I continued sitting in thosebushes for hours. I didn’t leave until the light in the window was gone. Aforce larger than myself held me hypnotized to the light and to her. I havenever in my life felt so close to madness.””Although I knew that our relationship was over, I still had very strongfeeling towards him. Then, one day, I saw him at the corner store we used toshop at when we lived together. He was with this bleached-blond chick–thekind who spends hours choosing her outfit, perfectly applies her heavymakeup, sprays every hair on her head in just the right place. I knew that Ilooked like a bag lady; my nose was red from a cold, my hair was unwashedand greasy. I think I simply went mad. I went up to him, kicked him in thegroin, snapped the hat he was holding in his hand and ran outside. I went tohis car–which for some reason he left unlocked–and started cryinguncontrollably. I’ve never cried like that in my life. I felt I was goingout of my mind.”Both people in these paragraphs are describing powerful experiences thathave several things in common. They are extreme and unusual, involve loss ofcontrol, and result in a sense of going mad–three prominent features ofromantic jealousy.Most people describe jealousy as an extremely painful, “crazy” feeling. Awoman who participated in one of my workshops said that jealousy was themost painful thing she had ever experienced: “I tried everything in anattempt to gain some control over it, but nothing works. I don’t think I canlive with this pain much longer.” Even when people who experience extremejealousy have enough self control not to resort to actual acts of violence,they often fantasize about it. A woman whose estranged husband starteddating her best friend said: “I have daydreams in which I go into herapartment with a sledgehammer and start destroying things– furniture,records, windows. I can virtually hear the glass breaking. These fantasieshave a way of calming me down, even if I know I will never carry them out.”For most of us, even if jealousy produces tremendous pain and distress, itremains an inner experience that does not cross the boundary into violentaction. But anyone who has experienced intense jealousy is well aware of itspower and potential destructiveness.Jealousy is a reaction to a perceived threat–real or imagined–to a valuedrelationship or to its quality. A nationwide survey of marriage counselorsindicates that jealousy is a problem in one third of all couples coming formarital therapy. This helps explain our fascination with stories about thewild things some people are driven to do. One middle-aged wife whose husbandleft her for a younger woman kidnapped her rival at gunpoint, shaved herhead, stripped her naked, covered her with tar and feathers, and releasedher at the city dump. The story was repeated over and over again–with greatdelight–by women who identified with the revenge of the deposed wife. Isjealousy a form of madness, then?

  5. cemburu romantis lah mba..biar tambah disayang hubby hihihih

  6. mutiarasemu said: cemburu romantis lah mba..biar tambah disayang hubby hihihih

    Siiip.. tambah romantis deh pasti

  7. eddyjp said: ha..ha..ha..ini tulisan tambahan buat dikau Cho :))..Well,Romantic JealousyHow to recognize where jealousy comes from and how to copewith it.By: A.M. Pines, C.F. BowesThe Shadow of Love”I found myself sitting curled up in the bushes, following every movementseen through the curtains in her lit-up window. I knew her boyfriend wasthere, and the knowledge caused me excruciating pain. It was a cold winternight, and once in a while it would drizzle. I said to myself: “I know I ama sane, well-adjusted, responsible adult. What in the world is happening tome? Have I totally lost my mind?” And yet, I continued sitting in thosebushes for hours. I didn’t leave until the light in the window was gone. Aforce larger than myself held me hypnotized to the light and to her. I havenever in my life felt so close to madness.””Although I knew that our relationship was over, I still had very strongfeeling towards him. Then, one day, I saw him at the corner store we used toshop at when we lived together. He was with this bleached-blond chick–thekind who spends hours choosing her outfit, perfectly applies her heavymakeup, sprays every hair on her head in just the right place. I knew that Ilooked like a bag lady; my nose was red from a cold, my hair was unwashedand greasy. I think I simply went mad. I went up to him, kicked him in thegroin, snapped the hat he was holding in his hand and ran outside. I went tohis car–which for some reason he left unlocked–and started cryinguncontrollably. I’ve never cried like that in my life. I felt I was goingout of my mind.”Both people in these paragraphs are describing powerful experiences thathave several things in common. They are extreme and unusual, involve loss ofcontrol, and result in a sense of going mad–three prominent features ofromantic jealousy.Most people describe jealousy as an extremely painful, “crazy” feeling. Awoman who participated in one of my workshops said that jealousy was themost painful thing she had ever experienced: “I tried everything in anattempt to gain some control over it, but nothing works. I don’t think I canlive with this pain much longer.” Even when people who experience extremejealousy have enough self control not to resort to actual acts of violence,they often fantasize about it. A woman whose estranged husband starteddating her best friend said: “I have daydreams in which I go into herapartment with a sledgehammer and start destroying things– furniture,records, windows. I can virtually hear the glass breaking. These fantasieshave a way of calming me down, even if I know I will never carry them out.”For most of us, even if jealousy produces tremendous pain and distress, itremains an inner experience that does not cross the boundary into violentaction. But anyone who has experienced intense jealousy is well aware of itspower and potential destructiveness.Jealousy is a reaction to a perceived threat–real or imagined–to a valuedrelationship or to its quality. A nationwide survey of marriage counselorsindicates that jealousy is a problem in one third of all couples coming formarital therapy. This helps explain our fascination with stories about thewild things some people are driven to do. One middle-aged wife whose husbandleft her for a younger woman kidnapped her rival at gunpoint, shaved herhead, stripped her naked, covered her with tar and feathers, and releasedher at the city dump. The story was repeated over and over again–with greatdelight–by women who identified with the revenge of the deposed wife. Isjealousy a form of madness, then?

    Thanks tulisannya Mbah… makin mantap deh

  8. iipx said: Tiap pagi saya sering cemburu…. :(cemburu buru masuk kantor :))

    hahaha… bangun kesiangan itu mah

  9. abimanyuadi said: cemburu buta dong, buseno… hehehehehehehe

    Buta melek ya mas

  10. abimanyuadi said: eh cemburu romantis deh..eh cemburu romantis tapi gak buta deh buseno..

    Ya jangan buta dong, masa udah romantis buta kan gak seru

  11. Buta wae tiasa cemburu nya teh…!!! πŸ˜€

  12. dua2nya pernah aku lakukancemburu buta baru sekali (semoga g lagi2 deehh)lbh sering cemburu romantis tapinya ^_^

  13. ibuseno said: Thanks tulisannya Mbah… makin mantap deh

    So don wori ya Cho, you are just fine :)), kaoan traktiran makan nih..ha..ha..ha..

  14. Emang cemburu buta mah membutakan segalanya πŸ˜€

  15. kenami said: Buta wae tiasa cemburu nya teh…!!! πŸ˜€

    muhun kang kumaha teu buta nya..

  16. mimihnyasyifa said: dua2nya pernah aku lakukancemburu buta baru sekali (semoga g lagi2 deehh)lbh sering cemburu romantis tapinya ^_^

    jadi udah banyak pengalaman dong ya.. iya lah enakan cembur rumantis aja deh

  17. mojangakank said: Emang cemburu buta mah membutakan segalanya πŸ˜€

    yang penting tidak membuat orang lain buta we neng

  18. cemburu romantis dong..

  19. akuhanif said: cemburu romantis dong..

    setuju.. sippp.

  20. cemburu romantis aja dehhh…jangan sampe cemburu buta yaa… bisa2 ancur daah

  21. tul mbak.. tahan2 diri deh

  22. Kata orang tidak bijak:”dalam keluarga, cemburu itu harus ada. Tanpa itu, bilih kajongjonan teuing…”

  23. idjatnika said: Kata orang tidak bijak:”dalam keluarga, cemburu itu harus ada. Tanpa itu, bilih kajongjonan teuing…”

    tapi tong langkung sering timburu na kang, sareng kedah ningali rambu2 cemburu na

  24. saya kurang tahu Bu, saya ini tipe yang mana, semoga saya cemburu yang romantis..

  25. adit9 said: saya kurang tahu Bu, saya ini tipe yang mana, semoga saya cemburu yang romantis..

    sy pun berharap demikian..cemburu romantis lebih menguasai diri, terima kasih mas Adit sudah mampir πŸ™‚

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